- "First there were speed bumps and now Bertie's got the cobble wobbles! We won't forget bossy Bertie's Bumpy Ride in a while!"
- ―the Fat Controller
Bertie's Bumpy Ride! is a magazine story.
It is a dreary morning at the bus station and Bertie is feeling down in the dumps. He is bored with the same old bus route, accompanied by the usual bad weather. His driver tries to cheer him up by telling him that they are doing a special day trip today to Dingley Hall and the Old Castle.
Eventually, the day brightens up and so does Bertie. The bus rushes to the town centre bus stop where he is pleased to see lots of smiling passengers waiting for him. The passengers climb aboard and Bertie sets off along new roads, enjoying the new sights he is seeing on his journey. One passenger shouts out to tell Bertie to slow down as they are approaching the turn-off to Dingley Hall. This makes Bertie bad-tempered again and he informs the passenger, bluntly, that he knows where he's going. Bertie makes a sharp turn and rumbles up the steep drive of Dingley Hall. Suddenly, Bertie hits a speed bump much too fast. This upsets the tourists who are trying to take photographs, but Bertie refuses to slow down and bumps and bounces all the way to the gardens.
Later on, the driver asks if everyone is on board before departing Dingley Hall. One passenger jokingly asks where 'Bertie's Bumpy Ride' is going to take them next. This upsets Bertie who insists the bumps had not been his fault. The Fat Controller and Lady Hatt are also on board Bertie and they decide to eat their cream cakes. As Bertie sets off, he bluntly demands that there is no eating while on the bus. Bad-tempered Bertie then rolls onto the cobble road leading up to the castle, causing the Fat Controller to get cream on his nose. Fortunately, the Fat Controller can see the funny side and says that none of them will forget 'Bossy Bertie's Bumpy Ride' for a while.