- "We need a parcel sorter...
I'll have you in the station,
you can work with my head porter!"
- ―Sir Topham Hatt[src]
A Special Story about Guards and Porters is a rhyming magazine story.
Thomas leaves one day without his guard. He tells the Fat Controller who tells him to give the head porter a hand. The work is very heavy for the guard and vows the next time he sees Thomas he will have the tank engine fired.